Appreciation: The New Paycheck
The age old quote from Mark Twain - "I can live for two months on a good compliment", couldn't encompass this blog topic more accurately. The workplace landscape now vs the age of our parents and grandparents is vastly different on many levels. The concept of appreciation for their generation was that every other Friday envelope given to them before the headed into the weekend. If you put your 80 hours in that pay period, did your job and did it well, you may have gotten a pat on the back here and there in addition to that paycheck. Talking to the workforce of that generation, mainly my father, it's just the way things were. There were clear expectations set and lack of emotional ties to the process. Work was a means to an end. It was "put your head down", "don't complain" and be thankful you can put food on the table.
There's a lot that resonates with me with having a stoic-based philosophy around anything one does in life. With that said, I wonder if there were moments when my dad had experiences of feeling emotionally challenged with his work, under appreciated by his supervisors/peers or weighted by the process that negatively effected his performance in life. Let me rephrase, how did my dad metabolize those moments when they happened because let's be honest...they happened to all of us thousands of times. With that being said, previous generations of workforce seemed to accept that as the norm and "part of the job". The relationship with your supervisor was one that was universally "tolerable" at best.
What's Changed?
If we were to fast forward from my dad's generation to present day, we would notice a very different reality on workplace environment (culture is the fire word us kids use today). Seriously though, have you ever stepped into a Google office? We have one here in Ann Arbor MI and you'd think that you were to walk into a 5 star resort. Between the full time chef, massage therapists on staff and nap pods...yes, nap pods...it's a wildly different environment than what we've ever been accustomed to. If my dad were to step into that environment, he'd think that he overdosed on yerba-mate (Argentinian joke). We have to ask ourselves, what's changed? Are we simply getting "softer" as a society or is there actual evidence that supports some of this love-centric behavior in the workplace?
Appreciation..The Infinite Currency
Early in my career, I had an indirect supervisor who was as brash and bold as they come. This was the kind of person that everyone noticed (or a least heard) when they entered the room. 23 year old me somehow managed to grab a late lunch with this person to talk through career development stuff. The first 30 minutes of our conversation was essentially this guy telling me everything I was missing to take my success to the next level. "You're not assertive", "you lack experience", "your math skills are sub part at best", "you have NO business experience"...this is just a brief overview of what I was hearing. "What did I sign up for here..." I thought to myself..
After we identified the gaps, he went on to acknowledge my unique abilities and how they would help me obtain what I was missing to unlock "level two" of success. He not only took the time to explain how my unique abilities had power, but how he appreciated them for what they were and most importantly, who I was...regardless if we kept working together or not. This was the first of many appreciative moments we had together. I was ride or die with this guy. Knowing his genuine appreciation for the human I was, energized my connection with him, my personal development initiatives and my attachment to the organization. Having this person who was twice my age and 100x the experience/success that I had, actually believe/appreciate me was jet fuel. I vividly remember moving from a state of complacency to intense action towards improvement overnight.
I share this story because I first handedly know the affects of what genuine & authentic appreciation can produce. We often forget that there are other ways to lead and inspire beyond constructive feedback around "the gaps". Appreciation for the uniqueness of each person and taking the time to actually discover what that is can be a powerful catalyst for transformational stuff. It's been researched and reported that the millennial's and gen-zers connect more to the relationships and meaning associated with their work relative to older generations. Appreciation for people can not only have positive impact on business performance (Gallup, 2023), but can transcend the stereotypical relationship with work into something of greater meaning and excitement. Once that foundational trust, love and safety has been established is when we can ride the rocket ship of radical candor. The impact of constructive feedback is multiplied now because the receiver of feedback knows your intentions are nothing but in their best interest.
AI...(no, not that AI)
A framework I was introduced to several years ago, known as Appreciative Inquiry, aids in systematizing this into daily living. AI approaches change from a strength based/positive oriented approach. The core principles (shown below) of AI help us establish mental models when it comes to creating positive change.
- The Constructionist Principle: The way we talk about and perceive a situation shapes our reality.
- The Simultaneity Principle: Inquiry and change are not separate processes; they happen simultaneously.
- The Poetic Principle: Organizations and their members are continuously co-creating their stories and identities.
- Anticipatory Principle: Human systems move in the direction of their images of the future. The more positive and hopeful the image of the future, the more positive the present-day action.
- The Positive Principle: Positive questions and dialogue lead to positive change.
Where I find this fascinating lies in how we deploy this framework with relationships in our lives. Relationships are always changing and evolving because people are always changing and evolving. When it comes to leadership, staying in touch with the human vs. the "employee" strengthens the relationship to an unbreakable level. AI is a vehicle that can support that outcome. More on this framework here.
Take Aways
- Consciously look for the unique abilities of your team members as opposed to their deficiencies only. Actively celebrate those with them for just that...no strings attached.
- Inquiry is the curiosity in action. Inquire about your team member not just to solve a problem, but to genuinely learn about their uniqueness and what makes them tick.
- Use the AI (Appreciative Inquiry) Framework to recalibrate how you go about solving issues. You'll find yourself working within a more anabolic energy.